Nothing is more intimidating than nothing.
Ok, I’m not a professional writer. I want to be, but right now, I’m just a guy who likes to write.
I write because I think I have something to say that the world needs to hear. But if no one reads what I write, it’s fairly useless. It takes a lot of money and time (neither of which I have) to put my thoughts into a book and get someone to publish it and present it to the world. I wish it were easier than it is, but when everyone is writing about everything, I guess I understand why it is so difficult to be heard.
So I took some advice and started a blog. I am hoping that people will find me and follow me and my words might be beneficial to them. I want to be The Guy (more on that in a later post). And that’s where the intimidation starts.
As I said, I’m not a professional writer. I want to be, but I’m not. And when I stare at a blank screen, or a blank sheet of paper, I am intimidated by what isn’t there. The absence of the words scares me to death. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, I’m just afraid to start.
What will I write about? What if I write something stupid? What if it doesn’t make sense? What if no one wants to read it? What if I’m not a very good writer? What if….
So I stare at the screen, afraid to start because I might mess up. I’m intimidated by the nothingness.
I think other writers feel this way, too. Some call it writer’s block. Other’s call it lack of inspiration. Whatever you call it, it stands in the way and prevents a writer from saying what needs to be said.
In fact, I think everyone runs up against these roadblocks. Maybe its ”Secretary Block” or “Salesman Block” or “President-of-a-Huge-Corporation Block.” Everyone has those times when our own fear stops us from being the best we can be. Fear puts up a roadblock and says, “You can’t come down this path. You are not worthy. You haven’t earned the right to be successful.” And we believe it. It stops us in our tracks.
I have been afraid. Not just of the nothing, but of what might be. If I start something, what might be next? What other challenges will I have to face? What if…
I think that everyone faces these ‘What ifs’ every day. It’s so much easier to stop moving forward that to face the unknown. We start down the road and see… nothing. If only the road was straight and flat and wide, and we could see for 10 miles in all directions. Then we could go forward without fear, knowing what lies in front of us, and being ready for it. That would be easy.
In his only sermon, Jesus said that the wide road leads to destruction, and many people take that route. The wide road is easy, and has very little risk. It must be okay, because everyone is going that way. And they all seem so happy, or at least content. Well, at least they’re making good time. Until something goes wrong, and then they find out that, even though everyone is going the same way, no one really wants to stop and help them when they break down. They are all going so fast and doing so much that no one else matters.
But, Jesus says, the Narrow Road leads to life, and only a few people take that route. It’s a slower route, filled with twists and turns and ups and down. Your options are limited, because you are moving slower, but you get to focus one thing, and do it well. You don’t need to participate in the multi-tasking that the rest of the world calls normal. When did doing five things at once become the norm anyway? (That’s a subject for another time)
I don’t know what lies ahead for me on this path, but I’m taking the narrow road. I need to stop trying to do everything, and do just one thing really well. That doesn’t mean that I will quit my job (a multi-tasking nightmare!), but that I will begin to focus my efforts. When I am working, I will be the multi-tasking machine that is expected, but when I am writing, I am writing. And everything else will need to fade into the background. Maybe that means that I will need to re-evaluate the other things I am involved in as well.
It’s a little scary to start, but I just need to take that first step. Once I do that, I can focus on the next step. Soon, I will be miles from where I was, just because I started moving forward.
You know, once I start writing, the page isn’t blank anymore. Suddenly, it’s not so intimidating.
